Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Andy Horishi Kensaki's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, April 26th, 2006
1:52 am	Disorder Your Score Major Depression: High-Moderate Dysthymia: Slight Bipolar Disorder: Very High Cyclothymia: High Seasonal Affective Disorder: Extremely High Postpartum Depression: N/A Take the Depression Test Worrying :S Current Mood: stressed Current Music: Guns n' roses (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, December 4th, 2005
8:41 am	Ziona I know I don't update this thing very often, but I haven't got much else to do at the mo. This weekend I went back to devon to visit my family and watch opeth in exeter. The gig was pretty good but it got ruined by some guy starting on me in the crowd. We had a harsh exchange of words and a punch was thrown but that was about it. Still, I hate fighting. The vibe you get after is so depressing. My brother enjoyed the gig though, it was his first proper live event bless him. Last night I went out with my old school mate Matt. Got smashed on JD, Bells and Jagermeister. Had a great time, was nice to hang out with him again. Spent the entire night worrying about Sarah though. I know I worry too much but I just can't help it, if anything happened to her I would be distroyed. We had a little argument because I couldn't get hold of her and was really distraught. I'm such a fool when I drink. I miss her so much that when I drink I almost have panic attacks because I need her so much. I feel like I'm going to die unless I know she's ok. I'm such a twat. I'm sorry Sarah. The wedding is starting to come together, it's all very fairytale like. So much needs to be done however, and with us both living in different places rite now, it's kinda difficult to get some things done. It'll be fine though. God knows why she's marrying me lol. I'm such a lucky guy to have her, it doesnt even seem real sometimes. She's the most amazing person, women, lover and friend I've ever had. There's no one on this earth that even comes close to how great she is. I don't even care about being friends with other girls anymore. I couldn't care less at all. She's the only true light in my life, and I need no other :) Back up to Birmingham today. Gotta get the GAIDS train from St Davids after dropping my bro off. Lucky bugger only lives a 40 min drive from my family. Current Mood: restless Current Music: Loud scuffling roaches (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 19th, 2005
1:05 am	Road to Nothing Man, working and social lives don't mix. I haven't been out since I got back after the Summer break. Not that I have the money to go out anyway. Today has been a shit day for sure, missed another business lecture due to stupid buses, forgot my debit card when going to the gym so had to come all the way home again, feel ill for some reason, had an argument with the other half, forgot to post a load of stuff off! GAH!!!! I've been in contact with a couple bands though, so hopefully I may be jamming it out again soon after a long break. Don't much feel like it right now though. To be honest I don't really feel much like anything right now, just wanna sit about drinking (which is unlike me). Self confidence is at an all time low which is impressive. I'm going to the doctors Friday hopefully to get some anti-depressants. I don't really want to start down that road but I'm heading there weather I like it or not. I've also had second thoughts about doing a teaching degree, I need to sort out so much before I can commit to it. I need to re-think and sort out a lot of things this week :( Current Mood: distressed Current Music: Megadeth - System has failed (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, September 10th, 2005
5:30 pm	Going down on...TOO Sarah's! Ok, me and my little mate Budro went travelling down to Brighton to visit Sarah. He didn't enjoy the journey very much and took great delight in doing a massive shit in the middle of our second train (stiiiink!). I think people thought I was mad talking to a blue box with strange cricket sounds coming out of my bag. Anyway, Sarah is great as ever! Just when I think I could't possibly love her anymore than I do... well... I do :D We went too a reptile/fish place and baught some more stuff for Bud. Oh, and a Corn Snake :p That damn snake gets more attention than I do *ponders wicked anti-snake plans*. I was tempted to buy another Beardy but I couldn't aford it and I couldn't transport two of them. Muchos Gayos (Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 7th, 2005
12:28 am	just got back from the Opeth gig, mannnn that was good! Shook hands with all the band. My ears are beeping but not as bad as I thought they'd be. Sam was pestering me all night and Tink turned up out of the blue which was scary. Not seen Tink in ages, we used to be good mates last year, me looking after her lol. Apparently i'm going bowling with everyone tomorrow although I don't know where the money for that is coming from, Sam! hahaha! anywho... Ears ringing, need a drink... Slater! Current Mood: ecstatic Current Music: ringing (Comment on this)
Saturday, September 3rd, 2005
1:39 pm	No....more.......boooze! I think I officially broke my record for the number of different drinks I've had in one night. It was Simons 22 yesterday so we all went round his for a piss up and then a few at the local. Ended up drinking: Ale Red wine Vodka Cherry Brandy Absenth Bols Blue Larger Cider Jagermeister Apple Sours I don't advise drinking red bull, red wine and vodka in one drink! should be moving back to brum either tonight or tomorrow, joy! Seeing Opeth on tuesday \m/ :D Then going to be with Sarah for a couple weeks or something :D:D:D:D:D:D:D mannnnn I love her!!!!!!!!!! Current Mood: Jewish Current Music: Thunderbolt (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, August 21st, 2005
11:56 am	So I went out last night for a couple drinks. Started off a Moles house and met up with Guy, Hutch etc... Then went on to the Anchor for a game of pool (Winner!) and a pint. Moved to Tavern after an hour and drank a fair amount with my brother and his crew. I bought him and Kerry(his gf) a fish bowl of cocktails because they passed their exams, which we drank until we could no longer move, so I poured it over his head :D Was a fun ole night! Me and Sarah had a long chat last night as well, about this and that. I tried calling her this morning but she wasn't very chatty, guess she's just tired. I never know how to explain the way I feel very well, it always comes out a bit different to what I intended. I have so much I want to tell her and show her but it all comes out so fast and ends up sounding like a big mess. Either way I got a lot off my chest, good or bad, but I believe in being honest, so I was. anyway, l8r Current Mood: indescribable (Comment on this)
Thursday, September 23rd, 2004
3:22 pm	another morning drapped in life I spent last night looking after tink, she was extremely upset about her ex bf. I cuddled her to sleep and stayed awake most of the night making sure she was ok. This morning she just ignored me and was more conserned about everyone else. So I've desided to give up looking after people, because I never get it back. Well, not from most people. Alot of people stayed over last night, Obviously us guys who live here (Ben, Stuart, Jamie, Jim, Dave and me) but also Chris, Anna (jamies gf), Pete (friend of anna), another girl I don't know, Tink and Solen. There was sick all over the stairs when I went down where Chris puked. Dan's house party is on Friday, I can't go because I don't want to see Emily. I miss her alot. Everyone else in my house is going though, so looks like another lonely night lol. On the good side though, some nice girl came up to me last night and said I had kool hair. :) Current Mood: restless Current Music: neurosis (Comment on this)
Friday, September 17th, 2004
8:35 pm	Do you ever do that thing where you lie in bed at night and think about the top 10 people you love and hate? Well it's a pretty sad day when you realise that number one on your hate list is yourself. I really am well and truely fed up of being me. My mate told me the other day that he had a conversatgion with someone he knows about who they'd most like to be if they could be anyone else... his reply was that he wanted to be himself (a good answer), but all I could think was I wish I was anyone but me. It sounds like a I'm moaning on when really I'm one lucky git. I have aplace at university, good friends, a roof over my head and a great family. But when it comes to how I feel about myself and my appearance, I just wish I could change. I've noticed over the past few weeks that my emotions have turned very negative and that I've started drinking heavily again. I wake up and all I want to do is drink. It's hard sometime to stop myself from popping down the shop and buying a pack of eight and a bottle of JD. Breaking up with Emily was for the best I think,I really didn't want to let her see me break down like this. I wasn't being a great bf to her, and it wasn't her fault. She's way to jolly and happy, and if I was to ruin that it would be unforgivable. So I had to let her go... Tink came over today. It's been nice to see her again even though she does tend to go on a bit lol. I cooked her some food even though I think I poisoned her. Thats about all Current Mood: sad Current Music: prokofiev (Comment on this)
Monday, July 26th, 2004
12:50 am	hahahahaha Hello, IM BACK!!!!!! (Comment on this)
Sunday, September 1st, 2002
12:51 pm	american dreams... Sheeeesh not been here in a while! What have i been up 2 since my last entry? hmmmm quite a bit really. Made my new site www.malevolus-preview.cjb.net Had two gf's lol - best not to talk about it! Sorted out a UK tour. Got a contract to record an album. Got a place in uni. Quote : "women are like dog doo hear me through don't interupt, it's just the odour that they are, the easier they are to pick up!" - bloodhound gang ||| www.2phat4porn.cjb.net ||| www.inthepit.xrs.net ||| www.wenchface.20m.com ||| Current Mood: cynical Current Music: Killing in the name of, RATM (Comment on this)
Monday, August 12th, 2002
9:28 am	Been a while! I've been soooooo buisy lately with work and getting wasted! Got my first driving lesson tomorow, poor car!!! I just know I'm gonna crash the beast muwhahahahaha! The hunt for a new singer and sample player goes on - we have a deal to record an album in less than a month so we are getting desperate now. AHHHHHHHHH!!! Current Mood: anxious Current Music: into the pit, testament (Comment on this)
Monday, August 5th, 2002
6:38 am	Develope me It's been an interesting few days. I found out today that one of the guys who used to be in cradle of filth heard our old demo and now wants to record our album in his private studio. The site is going through yet another upgrade - take a look: http://www.malevolus.com Gregs party on Saturday was fun! We ran low on fire wood so me and Kev took down part of his fence and burnt it. ooooops! Took an hour or so to get home through the dark woods n country paths. Current Mood: amused Current Music: mutter, ramstein (Comment on this)
Friday, August 2nd, 2002
11:40 am	Nice one! I just got home - had a REALLY great evening! I don't think I can sleep cuz I'm in such a good mood. Helen keeps sending me scarry pics of her wearing a furry hood - oooooooook lol. Current Mood: happy Current Music: outshined, sound garden (1 Comment |Comment on this)
11:40 am	Nice one! I just got home - had a REALLY great evening! I don't think I can sleep cuz I'm in such a good mood. Helen keeps sending me scarry pics of her wearing a furry hood - oooooooook lol. Current Mood: happy Current Music: outshined, sound garden (Comment on this)
Thursday, August 1st, 2002
8:23 am	Interesting week I did bugger all!!!! la la la la la la Work tomorow - then I'm going for coffee with my old mucker. sing to me!!! Current Mood: optimistic Current Music: Lords of karma, satriani (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 30th, 2002
6:19 am	D.I.Y I've not done much lately. Got pissed last night with Leah, was a laugh. Fixed my many broken guitar leads today in my lil work shed :) . Listened to satriani and exodus. Going out later with Sesh and Mat - wasted!!! man!!! Current Mood: chipper Current Music: crystal planet, satriani (Comment on this)
Saturday, July 27th, 2002
12:58 am	stubbles Just got back from Kevs house - go oh so drunk last night. Managed to drink a large bottle of white rum and a few beers. Smoked ALOT of special G and God knows what else. Weird thing is, I'm not even slightly hung over. I finished the new EP!!!!! yay! Current Mood: horny Current Music: voodoo chile, jimi Hendrix (Comment on this)
Thursday, July 25th, 2002
11:33 am	ok OK! so I lied - I'm not going rite now. But I am going in a few months time. If I like it enough I may try and stay lol. Ah well it will be great - I get away from this shit hole and I have good company too. Arse up to you all! oh and I'm working tomorow in the CD shop and then going to Kevins house. Current Mood: excited Current Music: Apache, The Shadows (13 Comments |Comment on this)
11:28 am	im leaving Im moving to Australia - so see you (Comment on this)